我把山金车倒入掌心¹

——《莫哈韦沙漠之魂》节选

我把山金车倒入掌心，
开始按摩你后颈
紧绷的神经。

你，是我幸福形象的缩影。

只有在你的陪伴下，
我才能集中精力、毫不懈怠。和你
生活在一起让我适应了
各种不同的情绪，让我完整。
但是我又给了你什么作为报答？

婚姻，一种共鸣关系的占卜。

就在我们眼前，接触到空气
几分钟后，刚出土的壁画
鲜艳夺目的色彩
开始变成暗淡的灰色。

你说，叙事，只是驾驭时间的一种方式。

而被克制的叙事
剔除出来的感知
则可被其他手法所利用。

与此同时，未来毫无牵绊地向我们袭来。
是一个裂口。一个既成事实。一个深渊。

当心灵不再是生命持续的场所，那会发生的是什么？

在我们交往之初，你曾开玩笑地说，
你要想重振自己的命运，那就从现在开始吧。
就在那时，我第一次看清了你
坚毅坦然的脸庞。

注1：题目为编者所加

作者 / [美国]弗罗斯特·甘德
翻译 / 李栋
选自 / 《魂与结》，华东师范大学出版社

I Pour Arnica Into My Palm

I pour arnica into my palm and
begin to massage the tight cords
at the back of your neck.

You, who are the image epitome of my happiness.

Only in your company do I
concentrate and hold together. Living
with you attunes me to the various
distinct moods that make me whole.
But what do I give in return?

Marriage, a divination of resonant relations.

Until right before our eyes, within minutes
of coming into contact with air, the rich
colors of the freshly excavated fresco
begin to fade to a dull grey.

Narrative, you say, is just one way of navigating time.

And those perceptions culled
by the restraints of narrative
become available to other trajectories.

Meanwhile, the future blows toward us without handholds.
It is a gaping. An already. A maw.
What happens when the mind is no longer a place of duration?

If you want to resuscitate your destiny, you joked
early in our relationship, start with the present. Which
is when, for the first time, I took in the resolute
openness of your face.

Forrest Gander