我一再凑到你身边,因此半张床都是彻底空着的

640-177长夜漫漫,难以成眠……

长夜漫漫,难以成眠。我躺在黑暗中
倾听每一种声响,一旦听到脚步声,
我就会紧张起来,怀疑紧随其后就会响起钥匙的声音。
而后黑暗平息下来,想象的画面被扑灭,而新的声音
再度响起。整夜都像这样,春梦中的小场景在脑中
接连不断,我感受着我的皮肤、我的身体,等待着你。
夜半时分,当脚步声不由分说地靠近之时,
我心跳加速,听见门把手推开的声音。我明白
你醉到了什么地步,就好像你跟本不知道
自己来到哪儿一样。你脱了衣服躺在我身边。当我
把头枕到了你的胸膛上,神经这才瞬间松懈下来,
煎熬结束了。你嘟囔着:你究竟为什么
还和我在一起?我什么都不能给你!我沉默不语。
你想要个说法,醉醺醺地求我回答。我趴在
你身上,无法就这样睡去。长夜
漫漫。旅程开始了。你总是从我身下滚到床边
撤回到你的睡梦中,我一再凑到你身边,狗趴在
我身后,因此半张床都是彻底空着的。
这就是我们的旅程,没有任何人明白。

作者 / [斯洛文尼亚] 布莱恩·莫泽蒂奇
翻译 / 胡续冬

The nights are long and do not bring sleep…

The nights are long and do not bring sleep. I lie in darkness
listening to each sound, and when footsteps can be heard,
I become nervous, wondering if they’ll be followed by the rattling of keys.
Then the darkness calms down, images are strung up, and again new
sounds. So it goes the entire night, short scenes of passionate
dreams, so I feel my skin, my body, waiting for you.
When, in the middle of the night, the footsteps do irrepressibly approach,
heartbeat becomes faster, the doorknob is moving. I see
how you shift in your drunkenness as though you don’t know where
you’ve come to. You undress and lie down beside me. Nerves by then
have calmed, all at once, when I lay my head down on your
chest, and it’s all over. You mumble: Why on earth are you
still with me? You get nothing from me! I am silent.
You want an answer and are drunkenly begging. I press up
against you and can’t fall asleep like this. The night is
long. The journey has begun. You on edge, you retreat
from me in your sleep, and I crawl towards you, behind me the dog
that presses up against me, so that half the bed is completely
empty. Such is our journey and no one understands anything.

Brane Mozetic
Translated by Elizabeta Žargi and Timothy Liu

 

有人说,结婚之前,一定要和未婚夫/妻做一次双人的长途旅行。旅程中遇到的种种问题,会让双方意识到是否真正的合适,因为人生就是一段漫漫长旅。

这首诗的最后一句,也说出了这一点:两个人的生活,就是一段他人无法参与、无法理解的旅程。

在这首诗里,很不幸他们的旅程遇到了障碍:一个睡不着的人,等着一个喝不醒的人,旅行已经无法继续下去了,半张彻底空着的床说不出原因,只呈现了事实。

荐诗 / 照朗
2016/09/18

 

题图 /  Eric Fischl, Krefeld Project Bedroom Scene 1

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