千万不要使用“突然”一词来营造紧张气氛

配图 / Jordan Tiberio

紧张气氛

            千万不要使用“突然”一词来营造紧张气氛。
             ——《小说写作指南》

突然,你在外面的花园里
种植黄色的牵牛花,
而我突然在书房里
第三十七次查找“寡头政治”是什么意思。

当你突然,毫无预兆地,
把育苗盒里最后一株牵牛花种好,
我突然把字典合上
因为已经想起了那个可恶的统治方式。

稍后片刻,我们发现自己
突然都站在厨房里
你突然打开一罐猫食
而我也突然看着你这番操作。

我看见满窗的树叶晃动
窗户之外,一只鸟栖息在
供它们洗澡的石水盆边沿
这时你突然宣布要离开

去菜市买几样东西
我也让你惊愕不已
情绪冲动地指出家里黄油所剩不多
再买一箱葡萄酒也不错。

谁知道下一刻还会发生什么?
水龙头再漏下一滴水?
秒钟又轻微地痉挛一次?
那幅满钵秋梨的静物画还会继续

挂在墙头的钉子上吗?
那些厚重的文选集还会静待在书架上吗?
煤气炉会不会坚守不动?
突然,谁心里都没数。

太阳在天空又升高了一节。
墙上地图里各州的首府仍然毫无动静
此时我突然发现自己躺在沙发上
双眼合拢,然后毫无预兆地

开始想见安第斯山脉,真是匪夷所思,
还看到一条小道翻过丛山,进入另一个国度
那里风俗奇特,帽子引人注目
每一顶突然都缀满了五颜六色的小流苏。

作者 / [美国]比利·柯林斯
翻译 / 唐小兵
选自 / 《漫无目的的爱》,上海文艺出版社

 

Tension

            Never use the word suddenly just to create tension.
—Writing Fiction

Suddenly, you were planting some yellow petunias
outside in the garden,
and suddenly I was in the study
looking up the word oligarchy for the thirty-seventh time.

When suddenly, without warning,
you planted the last petunia in the flat,
and I suddenly closed the dictionary
now that I was reminded of that vile form of governance.

A moment later, we found ourselves
standing suddenly in the kitchen
where you suddenly opened a can of cat food
and I just as suddenly watched you doing that.

I observed a window of leafy activity
and beyond that, a bird perched on the edge
of the stone birdbath
when suddenly you announced you were leaving

to pick up a few things at the market
and I stunned you by impulsively
pointing out that we were getting low on butter
and another case of wine would not be a bad idea.

Who could tell what the next moment would hold?
another drip from the faucet?
Another little spasm of the second hand?
Would the painting of a bowl of pears continue

to hang on the wall from that nail?
Would the heavy anthologies remain on their shelves?
Would the stove hold its position?
Suddenly, it was anyone’s guess.

The sun rose ever higher in the sky.
The state capitals remained motionless on the wall map
when suddenly I found myself lying on a couch
where I closed my eyes and without any warning

began to picture the Andes, of all places,
and a path that led over the mountains to another country
with strange customs and eye-catching hats
each one suddenly fringed with colorful little tassels.

Billy Collins

 

对有语言洁癖的作者来说,“突然”这个词的频繁出现,是令人难以忍受的。它的一惊一乍,往往带来一种条件反射式的刺激和悬念,但更多反映出的是作者在叙述中语言的贫瘠和无奈。这就是为什么要避免使用“突然”来营造紧张气氛,真正的紧张,不需要“突然”的突然出现。

诗歌也是如此。“突然”一词在一首诗中生硬的插入,会让诗句像一个跳蚤那样蹦来蹦去。这首诗的妙处在于,假如你读完这首诗,能够体会诗人因为对“突然”一词毫无征兆突如其来的使用感到一种难以言传的幽默和反讽。那么,不妨再把诗歌中出现的所有“突然”全部删掉,再重新读一遍,看看会发生什么。

 

荐诗 / 流马

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