她唱一支孤独的歌, 在荒野听如风筝

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葛露水

我常闻名葛露水:
我尝路经旷野
天明时偶然遇见
这孤独的小孩。

无伴,露水绝无相识,
她家在一荒凉的沼泽
——一颗最稀有的珍珠
偶尔掉入人家呵!

精灵的雏麋嬉嬉茸茸,
玲珑的野兔逐逐猭猭,
可怜露水儿的香踪
已经断绝了尘缘。

“今晚看来要起风涛,
你须镇上去走一遭,
携一个灯,儿呀!去照
你娘雪地里回家才好。”

“爹呀!儿愿意极了,
此刻时光还早——
那教堂钟才打两下,
那边月儿到起来了!”

露水喜孜孜出门上道,
好比个小鹿儿寻流逐草;
那小足在雪地里乱蹦,
溅起一路的白玉烟梨花脑。

那无情的风涛偏早到,
可怜她如何奋斗得了;
她爬过了田低和山高,
但她目的地总到不了。

那可怜的父母终夜
四处里号呼寻找;
凶惨的黑夜无听无见,
失望的双亲泪竭声槁。

天明了!老夫妇爬上山额,
望见了他们的沼泽,
又望见那座木桥
离家约半里之遥。

他们一头哭一头走,哭道:
“我们除非是在天上相会了;”
——娘在雪里忽然发现,
小小的足印,可不是露水的吗?

于是从山坡往下直下去,
他们踪迹那小鞋芒;
穿过一架破碎的荆篱,
缘着直长的石墙;

他们过了一座田,
那足迹依旧分明;
他们又向前,足迹依然,
最后走到了桥边。

河滩雪里点点足印,
不幸的父母好不伤心;
足迹点点又往前引,
引到了——断踪绝影。

——但是至今还有人说,
那孩子依旧生存;
说在寂寞的荒野
有时见露水照样孤行。

她跋涉苦辛,前进前进,
不论甘苦,总不回顾,
她唱一支孤独的歌,
在荒野听如风筝。

作者 / [英国] 威廉•华兹华斯
翻译 / 徐志摩

Lucy Gray, or Solitude  

OFT I had heard of Lucy Gray:
And, when I crossed the wild,
I chanced to see at break of day
The solitary child.  

No mate, no comrade Lucy knew;
She dwelt on a wide moor,
–The sweetest thing that ever grew
Beside a human door!

You yet may spy the fawn at play,
The hare upon the green;
But the sweet face of Lucy Gray
Will never more be seen.

“To-night will be a stormy night—
You to the town must go;
And take a lantern, Child, to light
Your mother through the snow.”

“That, Father! will I gladly do:
‘Tis scarcely afternoon—
The minster-clock has just struck two,
And yonder is the moon!”

At this the Father raised his hook,
And snapped a faggot-band;
He plied his work;–and Lucy took
The lantern in her hand.

Not blither is the mountain roe:
With many a wanton stroke
Her feet disperse the powdery snow,
That rises up like smoke.

The storm came on before its time:
She wandered up and down;
And many a hill did Lucy climb:
But never reached the town

The wretched parents all that night
Went shouting far and wide;
But there was neither sound nor sight
To serve them for a guide.

At day-break on a hill they stood
That overlooked the moor;
And thence they saw the bridge of wood,
A furlong from their door.

They wept–and, turning homeward, cried,
“In heaven we all shall meet;”
–When in the snow the mother spied
The print of Lucy’s feet.

Then downwards from the steep hill’s edge
They tracked the footmarks small;
And through the broken hawthorn hedge,
And by the long stone-wall;

And then an open field they crossed:
The marks were still the same;
They tracked them on, nor ever lost;
And to the bridge they came.

They followed from the snowy bank
Those footmarks, one by one,
Into the middle of the plank;
And further there were none!

–Yet some maintain that to this day
She is a living child;
That you may see sweet Lucy Gray
Upon the lonesome wild.

O’er rough and smooth she trips along,

And never looks behind;
And sings a solitary song
That whistles in the wind.

William Wordsworth

 

假如你没有敏感地发现这首诗里的陷阱,那么你会被华兹华斯+徐志摩的组合所打动,酸溜溜的,像心里闯进一头公牛。你跟我一样,为自己感到欣慰,恍似自己没有干枯,还有能力为一个柔软的故事叹息。但这是假的。让我们感动之物藏在隐蔽的文字底下,它本身是不洁的,是虚伪的。

诗的第一段和最后一段,长久回旋在我心里,构成我思考和写作的一种背景和声。但我在很久后才发现,动人的根本不是走失、寻求和冰冷死亡,并不是剜心的哭喊或者什么离别之伤。动人的是隐晦的黎明和辽阔的沼泽,是遥远难以抵达的荒野地,还有日复一日从不停歇的孤独。

我是个硬心肠,不总是为父母失去儿女感到难过,相信世间悲剧不过是无法停止地反复重演。如今我也相信,徐志摩和华兹华斯并未真正认清自己的内心。他们还以为自己真是为悲伤发出哀叹呢。事实是,他们不过是在悲伤中找到自己梦寐以求的审美世界。

我应该更清楚地解释这首美丽的诗的残忍之处。一个星尘般美丽的小女孩走失在黑夜里,也许是淹死在沼泽里,父母撕心裂肺,经久不息。这样的故事发生过一百万遍,这样的故事无法令任何陌生人断肠。那些我们不熟悉的命运注定显得单薄,使它丰富的,是我们自己的企图。我们用心中梦寐以求的、希望不付出代价就经历的事物——荒野、天明、沼泽、孤独、小脚丫溅起的雪白浪花以及永恒流浪的苦役——重新建设这个故事,然后获得满足。

“走异路,逃异地,去寻求别样的人们”,年轻的鲁迅希望实现的只不过是每个人都有的梦想。任何发生在荒野里的故事都能取胜,那些在人群中显得寻常乏味的事迹,一旦被缠绕进遥不可及的异乡情绪,就立刻悱恻缠绵。葛露水的故事远不如一个流浪的故事精彩。一个女孩之死远不如一个死去的女孩为荒原增添的一抹氛围对我们更重要。我们承认这一点,才算有勇气面对自我。

陈升唱道,写歌的人假正经,听歌的人最无情。写诗的人和读诗的人,大概也是这样。

荐诗 / 张伟
2013/05/23

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