此刻与死去的

今夜我哥哥穿着沉重的靴子，走过我头顶的空房
把门开了又关
他在这空屋中到底在寻找什么？
他在那天堂中又需要什么？
他是否还记得他的土地，他火炬照耀的故土？
他对我的爱就好像泼出来的水流回它的容器

此刻，已死的无法安息，而活着的正在燃烧
有人告诉他此时他该安睡了

我父亲在我们床边留一盏灯，为我们的旅行准备着
他补着五条男孩长裤膝盖上的十个洞
他对我的爱好像他的针线活：
花花绿绿，太多线头，凹凸不平
但他的手穿过，每针都是那么的干净利落

此刻，已死的担忧着，而活着的在逃亡
有人告诉他此时他该安睡了

上帝啊，那老火炉，用他那一口牙说个不停
胡子在宴席上被沾脏，他的呼吸充斥着
汽油，飞机和人烧成的灰
他对我的爱好像火，像鸽子，像河水

此刻，已死去的多无助，和善但无助，
而上帝活着

有人告诉上帝不要再管我
我已经历了他足够的爱
好像火烧，飞行和逃走

作者 /  李立扬
翻译 /  爻爻

This Hour and What Is Dead

Tonight my brother, in heavy boots, is walking
through bare rooms over my head,
opening and closing doors.
What could he be looking for in an empty house?
What could he possibly need there in heaven?
Does he remember his earth, his birthplace set to torches?
His love for me feels like spilled water
running back to its vessel.

At this hour, what is dead is restless
and what is living is burning
Someone tell him he should sleep now.

My father keeps a light on by our bed
and readies for our journey.
He mends ten holes in the knees
of five pairs of boy’s pants.
His love for me is like sewing:
various colors and too much thread,
the stitching uneven. But the needle pierces
clean through with each stroke of his hand.

At this hour, what is dead is worried
and what is living is fugitive.
Someone tell him he should sleep now.

God, that old furnace, keeps talking
with his mouth of teeth,
a beard stained at feasts, and his breath
of gasoline, airplane, human ash.
His love for me feels like fire,
feels like doves, feels like river-water

At this hour, what is dead is helpless, kind
and helpless. While the Lord lives.

Someone tell the Lord to leave me alone.
I’ve had enough of his love
that feels like burning and flight and running away

初识李立扬，是在伯克利大学的Lunch Poem Series,介绍说他的诗把亲情描绘成一种透明而又疏离于一般世俗观感的事物，也许他夹层于东西方文化之间的人生经历，给传统中国浓墨重彩的家庭文化留出了些许空白和距离。后来再读他的诗，觉得句句悲凉，那是一种对个体孤独的体认，和对个人历史的追思。

父亲曾经做过毛泽东的医生，外祖父为袁世凯，李立扬可称得上名门之后。自幼举家便迁往印尼，诗人在童年经历了这片土地上的反华浩劫后，最终在美国定居。因此 移民、逃难、流亡之痛，深深刻进了诗人的血液里。他的诗主题多为亲情，而这种描绘却并非一般的温暖歌颂，而是用冷的笔锋，来绘出热的血脉相连。生与死，神 与人，和冥冥的命运，是他诗歌图景的幕布。

这 首诗缅怀的或许是飞机失事中逝去的亲人，是那燃烧的，充满汽油味的事件和遗骸，是那回忆中浓稠的逃亡路途中的父爱，但这一种逝去的悲哀中，却有诗人对于命 运和生死两隔的拷问：为何宁静的神之爱，不能减缓片刻死神的脚步？或者上帝无所谓善恶，只是一体两面？这种所谓的全能的更高的存在，带给「我」的却是不能 承受的爱之痛。

荐诗 / 爻爻
2013/08/29